16 April 2004

Royal planes may lose union jack

To reduce the risk of a terror attack against the Windsors and politicians, proposals are being considered to remove markings such as the Union Flag from the Queen's Flight, so that the aircraft aren't as easily distinguishable from civilian flights.

Of course, there is no suggestion that the Windsors will actually have to travel like the rest of us do - packed into a tiny cabin with legroom that even Douglas Bader would complain about.

However, the security analysis fails to spot other obvious security risks.

Its not hard for any would-be terrorist to find the Queen's address. She lives in an enormous Palace in the middle of London (though we won't give details as these may aid an attacker). In a shocking security breach, when a ThroneOut researcher asked a London Policeman for directions to "where the Queen lives", the friendly copper even drew a simple map and wished him luck. Had that ThroneOut researcher have been a suicide bomber with a dirty bomb in his rucksack one can only imagine the consequences.

ThroneOut suggests the following changes to ensure the safety of our Royals by making them less conspicuous:-
  • relocate the Windsors to ex-Council flats in South London
  • make them drive around in battered minicabs, rather than black limos
  • insist the Queen stops dressing like Dame Edna Everage
  • remove the Queens picture from stamps and money (these could be used by a terrorist to help identify our monarch)
More information
BBC News - Royal planes may lose Union Jack